Herring Aid, Part Two

You may have hear the phrase ‘your life hangs in the balance.’ This is often used when someone is close to death, or on the brink of a massive decision. 

But like many phrases in the English language, the original usage is very different. The phrase refers to the fact that this universe itself exists because of your sense of balance. 

Think about walking across a tightrope. The world would seem perfectly level until you take one step off to the side. Think about watching your favourite film, and then flipping the television over halfway through. This what it is like if you lose your true sense of balance. 

You do not have to worry about the universe falling apart on the metaphysical tightrope. Your body has had millions of years of evolution to make sure your reality keeps going. But there are ways, if you choose, that you can tip the balance, and find yourself somewhere else. 

Your inner ear plays a significant part This is why you get woozy if you get water in your inner ear canal. But this is actually the body’s key to keeping you in this reality.

In the mountains of Sweden and Norway is a small flower. Their petals are canary yellow. Pick one, brew it for three minutes, dab the concoction onto a cotton bud, and give it a light swirl into your ear. Things will change immensely. For those who have returned (often on one foot with two arms spread out wide) tell of a great ice cave, a crowd dressed in canary yellow costumes, music that never ends. 

You can see why this would be tempting. But remember, this is not a hallucination, but an actual journey. Think what you are giving up. Language, recognisable noise, physics. Some who come back can do nothing but flail until they find another bud. Do not undertake the journey lightly. Yellow hued cotton buds litter dark streets in many cities, and of those 'Chickenheads’, very few come back. When you insert that bud into your ear, never forget, in the truest meaning of the phrase, that your life hangs in the balance.