The Two Penny Man

Funding Superhero groups is hard. You need regular income, and it is not something the government likes to get involved with. But to take on private sponsorship means logos, public endorsements, and even restrictions on your activity. 

This is why you need people like the The Two Penny Man. He is one of you. He will help you with all of your debts, and it will not cost you a penny.

How many two pennies do you need to fund a superhero group? The answer is thousands. Ten of thousands.

The Two Penny Man adjusted his tie. Not silk, but a decent one all the same. He knew the importance of keeping up appearances. He flexed his hands, and drew the two pence piece from the lapel pocket of his crisp black suit. He only needed the one. 

The warm glow of the Penny Falls illuminated the bronze treasure inside. An eternal rendition of Jean Michel Jarre tune hummed along with the movement of a thousand two penny pieces, jostling for position in a constant pattern.

And crucially, it was a pattern. Complicated, but in the end containing all the logic and solvability of a maths equation. You just need the right set of powers.

The Two Penny Man waited with the coin clutched between two fingers until the perfect moment, then with the deftest of touches dropped it into the middle slot of three. Down it went, hitting nubs of plastic en route, each one designed to build tension through the illusion of random chance.

But there is no chance with The Two Penny Man. The coin hit its brothers in the exact right spot. With a clatter two coins landed in the dispenser at the bottom of the machine. 

The Two Penny Man smiled. It was going to be another good day. 

He left two hours later with a bulging, jangling carrier bag, past the security guard desperate to charge him, for a crime, knowing none had been committed. 

How the banks hate The Two Penny Man. Every day he arrives with another sack of coins to be counted and converted, and inserted into offshore bank accounts across the world.

The Two Penny Man is finished for today. Tonight he rests in a cheap seaside hotel, pleased with his work. He will be off tomorrow to another pier on the East Coast of England. By Christmas he will be winning in arcades in South Wales.

How does he travel the country so regularly? What method can you use to go long distances on a budget?

Penny Farthing of course.