You cannot be too early, and you cannot be too late. Brian knew there is a sweet spot to buying discount food from his local supermarket. Seven thirty in the evening was the peak, when yellow stickers smother the original bar code. And you still have to be careful. You have to sort through the blackened beansprouts, the wilted sandwiches, and the dying meat with a surgeon’s care.
Sometimes Brian came away with nothing but sweating radishes. But today, nestled in the corner, the label looking like it had been chewed by a giant mouse, was a chicken tandoori.
Nothing too strange about this. Curries have a short self life, and are often found here at this time. But the label made Brian’s jaw drop. The tandoori was on sale for one pence.
One pence! It must be a printing error. The prices were never that low. But Brian remembered something about shops having to honour whatever price was on the label. And nothing would taste as good as a one pence tandoori.
Brian picked up the container from the chiller. Despite the cold temperature, the box was warm, like it had stayed out in sun for twenty minutes too long. Thoughts of food poisoning flash fried his brain.
But at one pence…
No need for a basket. Brian walked to the counter with his curry grasped in one hand. He had the loose change in his pocket. He would not even need to open his wallet.
It was in the drinks aisle that something stung his palm. Not too painful, but nasty, like jabbing yourself with a steak knife. Brian thought that maybe the plastic bottom of the container had snapped into his skin. He lifted up the container, and smelt spices and blood.
The hole in his hand was no bigger than a one pence piece. But it ran all the way through his palm. He spotted the cashier through the hole, a big line of yellow stickers in her hand, eyes wide.
There on the bottom of the container was the head of the creature, bald like a newborn mole rat, soaked in sauce, pieces of flesh and bone stuck between needle teeth.
All Brian could think of was what he was going to have to find for tea instead, and how much that was going to cost.