There are plants in the universe which grow so fast you can hear the creaking of their cells expanding. We get a few on Buber. The farmers often massacre yards of a purple vine with leaves the size of dinner plates. Someone must have brought it from who knows where a decade ago, and we cannot kill the damn things off.
The reason I bring this up is that we had a Butter Mouse named Franz forget his scythe last night. When he popped in for collection, we got chatting. He said he had a funny story to for me. Here it is below:
Franz: ‘One time we visited this planet overrun by turnipheads. We were told this world may be beyond saving, and it was as much to gather information as to kill them off. The world was thick spaghetti of green foliage, with the odd patch of land shaven down to brown earth. Our shuttle landed in one of these bald spots.
We disembarked to a wave of sound. The dirge has stuck with me, like the supports of a building under constant pressure. The forest consisted entirely of a corkscrewing vine weed that unfurled taller than our ship. The fresh green shoots of new plants were already slithering across the dirt to overtake the landscape. A few parnsipheads stagggered around the clearing. We took them out in minutes. By the time fight was over, our landing zone was a few feet smaller.
Only then did I spot the shadows in the undergrowth. They were like seeds in a watermelon. It took a while to understand what were.
Deep inside the forest were the turnipheads, munching away on the vine weed. As soon as the turnipheads eat the plants, the plants start to grow back. As soon as the plants grow back,the turnipheads start to eat them. Nature in perfect harmony.
We reported our findings. By this point the forest clung to our landing ramps, and reached for our boosters. Our commander reported back, and they told us to not to bother. ’
Franz collected his scythe, and left. I will make sure we buy some pesticide from the next supply ship. Just to make sure.