Cold Pizza, Part Four Or Herring Aid Part Three

Eustace Herring’s invention revolutionised the world of course, and made him a millionaire along the way. Below is an extract from his recent autobiography, which explains a little more about how the Herring Aid came to life. 

The Herring Aid is not my invention. It is my discovery. That’s the most important thing to remember. When they found me three days later, I had not been working in a controlled laboratory, but was the victim of a parasite. 

And even this discovery was second hand information. I am not the first person to discover the planets around TRAPPIST-1, I was just lucky enough to find the hearing aid. Entrepreneurs have pinched ideas from across the world for centuries. All I did was take that one step further. There have been people visiting this other worlds for decades. Here is my proof. 

Do you remember that phenomena of people seeing ghosts in their celebration photos? Not the kind that look like sheets, or Victorian gentleman, but the type where a group of friends are hugging, and a face peeks over one of their shoulders? The face was always smiling, and the group always insisted that there wasn’t anyone behind them when they took the celebratory snap. Now I have a bit more money, I have splashed out on trying to prove a theory. One that so far has a success rate of 100%. 

I tracked down the original restaurant that these photo were taken in. They were all chain pizza joints, or family restaurants that sold pleasing, but fatty junk food. And in every single one, they used the same kind of flour as I had in the house that day. 

Of course it might be a coincidence, and these shadowy figures are no more than a badly developed negatives, or forgotten photo bombers. But to anyone who has used my cotton buds to visit the planets around TRAPPIST-1 - do you really think this is the case?