At Least They Tell The Time

Watches are now irrelevant. When mobile phones first ousted their time telling ability, and you could at least claim that watches were more accurate, or it is easier to bend your wrist than pull something out of your pocket.

But now we have electronics that are not only accurate time pieces, but can measure your heart rate, tell you how many calories your have burnt, what meetings you have that day, who is texting to say they love you. Smaller technological advances killed off the gas lamp and the steam train, so why are mechanical watches still revered?

Some say watches are a good investment that will not depreciate in value, like an oil painting or a Picasso sketch. The raw materials are undoubtedly valuable. But watches are small and fragile, so easily dropped and broken forever. There must be a safer way to invest. 

The closest answer to the truth is that watches are a status symbol. And I can guarantee if you look at any watch, you will find some part of the watch face alluring. This reaction is nothing to do with the numbers, or the carved piece of gold or pearl. You have spotted what is inside. 

Because the depressing truth is that the invasion from the stars has already happened. And they won years ago. From our perspective, the final step of their plan is taking a very long time. They hide just below the surface of our watch faces, their tentacles gripping the ten and two. Waiting for someone to spot them. 

It only takes a glance. But once you notice, you are trapped. 

‘Wow, nice watch,’ you will say.

And the person will start talking about how it belonged to their father, how their are real diamonds on the strap, what a good investment watches are. You will ignore them, and stare at ticking of the the hands fascinated, the numbers burning into your brain with every second that goes by.

You will end up in a room, thinking of those numbers, forgetting to sleep, forgetting to drink. And they will have won. But at least you will be able to tell the time.